Bond with Your Child: Help with the SATs

One of the many joyful experiences in life is raising your children. You always look for the best ways to improve your child’s life and his or her happiness. After all, what’s better than being a part of your son or daughter's life and being there to guide them through as many obstacles as possible? One of the many important times in your kid's life is when they are about to complete high school and embark on the next part of their educational life. This starts with the SATs, which determine the college or university they will end up in.

As a parent you are there to support them, and like every parent you try to make life a little more easy and little more fun in this stressful time period. There are many things you can do to help, and research shows that the best teachers are the ones who know the kids the best; that would be you! If you feel that you are not qualified to teach your kids, there are other options available. Find them the best SAT prep school or study guide you can. The score your children achieve in their SATs largely depends on the preparation they have gone through. For some kids this experience is enjoyable, while for others it may just be a breaking point in their lives. Either way, as long as they know that they have your support the SATs can be a lot less stressful.

Finding the best SAT prep program is much easier than you may think. With the help of the internet and helpful individuals at the various school offices, you can easily locate the preparation guide that best meets your child’s learning style. This process can help you and your child find a bonding moment like none other.

Setting Good Examples

I’m so much thankful that our parents raised us as persons with high regard for good health. We we’re brought up not seeing our parents addicted to any vices like alcohol, cigarettes or gambling. And that’s what we also want our children to become. I never want them to taste cigarettes (even if there are already electronic cigarrettes), liquor and what the world offers as “good things” in life. That’s why me and my husband vowed to set good examples to them and vowed to brought them well so that they will become responsible and good citizens someday. I believe that’s how parents should be.

Less of Me, More of Them

Before, (that’s when the kids are still inside the gift boxes of God, hehe) whenever I’m at home and during lazy weekends, I grab a book and sit on our bean bag couch and outdoor pillows until I doze off. Now, I can’t do that anymore. There’s the talkative young lady who wants to grab my attention every now and then, and the cute little boy whom I can’t resist whenever I hear him squeals and babbles. I can only have a time for myself when they are both asleep, but not to read a book but to go online and work while listening to my favorite play list. That’s how my life has changed when I got married and had two kids. But I had no regrets at all. I’m so blessed to have them even though having them means less time for myself. My family is my life and my kids are my treasures.

Guilty.

Jaden is already 3.3 yo but we are still experiencing separation anxiety and the guilt that comes with it...

Yesterday she woke up early, just when I was preparing for work. Maybe because she's sick she isn't comfortable. When she saw me on my office uniform, she cried and wanted me to give her a bath. I refused since her temperature is still high (at 38.5). Nothing I said stopped her from crying. She really wanted to take a bath so she can come with me to the office. When I finally told her that I'll just give her a sponge bath so she can dress up, she agreed.

She was so excited when we finally left the house. When she noticed that we're heading to my parent's house, she asked why we we're going there. I just told her that I have to pick up something. She had no idea that she will not come with me but will just be dropped off to my parent's house. When we enter the house, I told my mom to get her attention so I can rush out. I felt sad upon leaving her there.

I hate the feeling that I can't be with her the whole day, especially when she's sick. I really feel the guilt of not being there to take care of her. But I guess, this is one of the consequences of being a working mom. :(

A day off.

Yesterday was holiday in the area where I work so I had a day off and I get to spend time with my family. It was my first time to go with my daughter to school and also my first time fetching her after her class. I saw that the little girl was also happy that I was with her. Fifteen minutes before the bell rang, I was already there to fetch her. It’s good that there’s a TV (on an LCD mount) at the waiting area. Parents can chit-chat and watch something while waiting for their children.

I really enjoyed my day. I wish I can do this to my child everyday but work does not permit me. In times like this, I can't help but wish that I’m a WAHM.

Saving loose coins.

We’re teaching the little girl how to save money in her own little way. We bought a big piggy bank where we can drop our loose coins. So whenever the little girl sees some coins lying around the house, she will always ask mommy or daddy’s help so she can drop it inside the pink piggy. One day, she saw a rare coin on my wallet. It’s not a gold coin like what Monaco Rare Coin offers but it’s different among others that’s why it caught her attention. She asked me if that’s also a peso (she thought all coins are peso coins). When I told her that it’s money from a different country, she also dropped it in the piggy bank. . I think it’s good that we’re able to teach her the value of saving even loose coins.

Struggling

I’m having a headache. I slept late last night because I scrapped and did some layouts (actually long overdue layouts for Jaden). I also did not get enough sleep since the little lady threw tantrums in the wee hour of the morning. She wants her milk. And I didn’t give her because I want to train her not to suck milk when she sleeps. I’ll tell you, it's a struggle... until now. But I’m so determined not to compromise. She wept, screamed, cried her heart out, but I ignored her. After 20 minutes she was in deep slumber. I don’t want to hear her cry but I don’t want it to be her habit every night or early in the morning. It’s hard, I know I have to do this. Until when? That I don’t know. But I hope sooner. I hope she’ll overcome this.

On my attempt to wean her.

I'm having a hard time weaning my little lady. Well, actually her pedia said that she’s healthy (she doesn’t need an orovo detox yet, lol!) but the drinking of milk in the middle of the night should be lessened. As much as possible she should be weaned from drinking in bottles, but the little lady doesn’t want to. Last night I tried not giving her milk when she woke up and asked for it at 2am. I refused so she cried hard and kept on pleading me for a milk. I resisted her. I’ve done it to her twice. She was able to sleep after her long cry. I pity her but I know, I have to do that. She’s turning two and a half next month and if I don’t do that now, I know it will be harder for both of us.

She needs my attention

I realized this past few days that being a working mom and a mommy blogger can really get all my attention away from being a "real" mommy. I feel guilty last Saturday while I was busy on my PC that I did not give enough attention to my daughter. Here’s what happened:

We woke up late, 9:30am na. While the nanny was doing the laundry, I opted to prepare breakfast. The little lady on the other hand was watching Dora DVD. After breakfast, and not feeling the groove to clean the house, I bathed my daughter then turned on my PC and started surfing while the little lady tuned in to Dora. I then got busy surfing….but though my face was glued on the monitor, I could see the little lady walked here and there. And I could hear her mumbled and grumbled while playing all by her self. Then I heard a crash. She already banged her toy. Of course, I was surprised, I went to see what happened. I looked at her {nakasimangot na face} and asked her why she did that to her toy. She quickly hugged me and said “mommy, let’s play”. I was stoked. I realized, it’s Saturday, my only free day to bond with her but there I was, busying my self in front of the PC. So I immediately closed my browser and turned off the computer and gave her my full attention.

We played. Doodled. Colored. Sang. And laughed together.

Time spent with her is more precious than paid reviews. :)

*That is the reason why I was quiet on plurkville :D*

In "other" Words: A Noble Task

Parenting is a noble task and a responsibility. There’s a book I’ve read that says, what our children become as adults and individuals are results of our parenting. Parenting is investing in helping our child LEAVE us. As I ponder on this, I felt sad but it’s the truth. We are chosen by God to be the parents of our children because He believes that we can do that noble task. Being a parent is one great opportunity to raise an individual God designed him or her to be. Our children will not forever be dependent on us, they will grow and will have to be responsible for themselves. We will not forever hold their hands to feed them or guide them. Our only reward as parents is when we release them from our hands, when we let them go at the right time to journey on their own lives, and we will see that they are journeying on the path God designed for them because we were able to prepare them.

How sad that others got married without the desire to become parents. It’s also breaks my heart to hear stories of women longing to have a child of their own but not fortunate to have one. As for me, I’m thankful that God blessed me with a daughter. I know that she is a responsibility but I see it a wondrous taks and I humbly and gladly taking it for I know that God will be there. He will be my constant companion in raising my daughter to what God wants her to be.

“Dear Lord,
I do not ask that Thou shouldst give me
some high work of thine,
some noble calling
or some wondrous task.
Give me a little hand to hold in mine.”

Anonymous

This weeks quote is from Nina of Mama’s Little Treasures “. Visit to read more entries.

Last night, I cried.

…jealousy creeps in whenever my daughter prefers her nanny over me and last night it happened again.

After our favorite TV show, she cried for no reason. She keeps on shouting “ahkit…face…” I know that whenever she cries that a part of her body is in pain, she just wants me to kiss her. And I did but still she cried and cried harder. She even pushed me when I tried to calm her and instead call for her nanny. I can’t help but get jealous…So I gave up. I went inside our room, turn off the lights and lied down. She followed me but just to asked me for her “baby” and her pillow. Since I feel like crying I ignored her and brushed off her hands. She left and went to her nanny. I was really crying na when she came back (because her nanny told her so), I still ignored her. She cried calling my attention…I can’t stand her cries so I get up and hugged her. She stopped crying and suddenly asked me to kiss her nose, her chin, her eyes and lips. After that, she placed her stuffed toys beside her then I tucked her to bed.

The more I experience times like this, the more I feel the guilt of leaving her to a nanny. The more I feel dejected that I am not with her 24/7…The more I feel like quitting my job and just be there for her.

Hubby also wanted me to quit my job so I that I can focus on our daughter, but not until our finances are stable. Not until we're certain that his salary will be able sustain us. But honestly I’m on the verge of thinking of giving up my work just to be a full time mom... and I am really praying for that.

I don’t want to sound complaining...

...but yes its true, being a mom is not always fun, especially for working moms like me who needs ample time of rest...yes and I am not getting that. I am not getting a straight 8 hour sleep a day since my daughter is throwing tantrums in the middle of almost every night.

She seems to save her worst outbursts when I’m around. Her nanny reports that she rarely acts this way with her. She also shows mood swings -- laughing one minute and crying the next with no apparent reason -- that irritate me and sometimes results in loosing my temper. I don’t want to spoil her but I also don’t want her to fear me for being a disciplinarian.

This is what bothers me…and not until I searched and read about dealing with two year olds when I began to understand.

I've learned that..

• Toddlers don’t trust other people the way they trusts their parents.
• Toddlers want to learn how everything works
• These seemingly bizarre mood swings are simply the result of our toddler's struggle to take control of his actions, impulses and feelings
• A 2-year old's world is still primarily "me" centered.
• Toddlers still sees themselves as the center of the universe, but also, they're much more interested now in imitating other people's mannerisms and activities.

Haaayyy….the journey of a first time mom who temporarily raises her daughter alone…. It’s really an emotional and physical challenge.

I hope hubby will come home soon… I need his help.

Being a mom

Millette asked me a good question....

Question : What I love most about being a mom?

When I decided to get married, I knew then that I’ll be entering a life filled with commitments and responsibilities. I knew that it won’t just be the two of us but the vision of having little ones to take care of.

I wanted to quote this poem as it is so true to me:

BEFORE I WAS A MOM

Before I was a Mom;

I made and ate hot meals,

I had unstained clothing,

I brushed my hair every day,

I had quiet conversations on the phone,

I slept as late as I wanted and I slept all night long.

Before I was a Mom;

I cleaned my house each day,

I never tripped over toys or forgot lullabies,

I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous,

I had never been puked on, pooped on, spit on, chewed on, peed on, or pinched by tiny fingers.

Before I was a Mom;

I never thought about immunizations,

I never held a screaming child so the doctors could give shots,

I never looked into teary eyes and cried,

I never felt my heart break into pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt,

I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

Before I was a Mom;

I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down,

I never sat up late hours of the night watching a baby sleep,

I never got up in the middle of the night to make sure everything was okay,

I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.

Before I was a Mom;

I had complete control of my mind, my thoughts and my body,

I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside of my body,

I didn't know that having something so small could make me feel soimportant,

I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love,
the heartache,the wonderment, or the satisfaction of being a mom.

Before I was a Mom;

I never knew that something so small could effect my life so much,

I never knew that I could love someone so much,

I never knew I would love being a Mom,

I didn't know the bond between a Mother and her child,

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much.

Being a mom means experiencing the joy of…
Having little talks…
Doing silly things…
Holding little hands…
Hearing sweet little voice that says…”mommy..”
Having a life so dependent on me…
Cuddling tiny-chubby body…
Having her sleep on my arms or beside me…
..and Watching her sleep calmly…

My daughter is one of the wonderful gifts God has given me. I am just so thankful that God entrusted to me a little life… which only means that he knew it full well that I can be a good and loving mom, a mom who can be creative and wise in raising up a child with good character...a person according to what He wanted her to be.

I'm tagging Mai and Kitts

Batang Batibot :)

Napapagusap ngayon sa n@w ang tagalog nursery rhymes. Deep inside I'm glad that a lot of us are willing pa rin to teach our children our own children songs. Nakakalungkot kasi I've watched an episode of Singing Bee in ch.2 where they invited the kids of Going Bulilit as their contestants. Many of the children don't know our own nursery rhymes like Bahay Kubo and Leron Leron Sinta.*sigh*

Kaya ako, I see to it that my daughter knows some of our tagalog songs. And I observed, she loves them more than the foreign nursery rhymes. She knows twinkle, twinkle little star, itsy bitsy spider, Barney's I love you and many other english songs but she also loves Bahay Kubo, Pen Pen De Sarapen, Maliliit na Gagamba and Tong, Tong Pakitong-kitong - her most favorite because of the hand actions.

I don't want her to grow forgetting about our culture kasi and think more western. Of course maganda na our children are speaking and learning english to be competitive when they grow but for me, it's also good that our children knows our own culture.

Haay...as I was reading the thread in n@w it brings back childhood memories. Batang Batibot din kasi ako :D and I want to pass it on to my child.

Another Helpful Tips: How to Raise Charitable Children

Another useful tips for us parents:

Our generosity seems to kick in around the holidays, but charity in its best form is a yearlong — and lifelong — endeavor. The funny thing about giving back to your community is that once you start, it's hard to stop. Here's how to help children gain a positive attitude about charity.

Even small children can understand that others kids may not be as lucky as them. To that end, they can be encouraged to get into the habit of giving back to their community and sharing all that they have. If they receive or want a new toy, encourage them to part with an older toy that's in good shape and can be enjoyed by another child. The same goes for gently used clothes. When you're grocery shopping, show your children that you're buying an extra can or two as a food bank donation. At church or temple, explain to your kids where your donation goes and whom it helps. Giving back is a habit like anything else.

Some families encourage kids from a very young age to put aside money for charity. A standard rule of thumb is for any gift or allowance money to be divided into savings, charity and personal spending. You might want to encourage the giving part of the equation by matching the amount your children are donating to charity and helping them decide what charity to give to. To make their financial donation more concrete, explain how much money it takes to rescue one manatee that's been injured by a boat propeller, or to buy shoes or food for one child in Africa.

Holidays are, obviously, a great time to get your children involved in giving. Angel trees, where you leave needy children gifts of their choice, can often be found in shopping centers. Let your kids be the angels and choose the child they want to help. As youngsters read the gift requests, they may be shocked that so many children think getting a pair of pajamas is something special. Although your kids won't ever get to meet the gift receiver, they'll enjoy buying a special small toy to go with the practical gift. Another nice way to celebrate the holidays is to help serve a holiday meal at a homeless shelter or home for abused mothers.

As kids get older, they can begin to understand more clearly how their philanthropy has a positive impact and makes them feel worthwhile and connected to the larger world. It's a great self-esteem booster to be part of a cleanup effort at a local park or to see the happy faces of nursing home residents when you go to play checkers with them. If your children have a relative with breast cancer, they may feel helpless, but tell them they can hand out water to runners raising money to fight breast cancer, and they will feel powerful. In the end, that's what you want: children who know they are making a difference and are empowered by it.

© Copyright 2008, Meredith Corporation

How To Raise Good Citizens

I got this email from a friend and thought of sharing it here.

We all want our children to be good, compassionate, helpful people. That's not always what we get — and sometimes it's our fault. Truth is, good character and a strong work ethic are learned at home. Here's how to help set the scene.

Little pitchers have big ears. A strange expression, to be sure … but true when it comes to how children pick up ideas and behaviors from the adults around them. To raise respectful children, we have to walk the walk and talk the talk by respecting those around us. Basic manners are a good way to start teaching respect; hearing "please" and "thank you" and learning to give somebody personal space — that all sinks in. So does emphasizing the power of gratitude. If a child learns to be thankful for even the simplest things — a sunny day, a special outing, a lick in the face from a new puppy — he or she will be more equipped to appreciate all of life's little pleasures — and any people who make them happen.

When children are overindulged, they may believe that they are somehow better than everyone else or that good behavior isn't necessary. And while it's important that we encourage our kids, hearing the word "no" every now and then helps them learn to postpone gratification, tolerate frustration and set long-term goals — all necessary attributes of good citizenship. Introducing children to the idea of giving back through charity work, the Scouts or church will help foil the spoiling monster.

Working hard has its rewards, and children need to learn them. We're not talking allowance here but the bigger picture of what it means to contribute to the household and society, to create something good, to help others, to be an important part of making something work. Daily chores — feeding the pet, watering plants or emptying the dishwasher — help even little kids feel needed and teach the value of pitching in. Children learn the most from work that's nonnegotiable. Make a list, divvy it up, expect the best. Children who aren't expected to contribute to the family don't learn that it's better to give than to receive — in any arena.

© Copyright 2008, Meredith Corporation

Alphabet for Parents

By: Sister M. Benedict, O.S.U.
St. Claire School, Cleveland Ohio

*A* sk your child daily about his day at school – activities, play, problems

*B* elieve that corrections made are in the best interests of your child

*C* onsult with the teacher about your child's progress, character, attitudes

*D* emand respect and obedience at home and your child's success is guaranteed

*E* ncourage your child to prompt acts of generosity, self-sacrifice, self-forgetfulness. "What else may I do" should be your child's motto

*F* amiliarize your child with the best in literature, television, recreation

*G* ather your child's associates together and get to know them well

*H* ave high, but realistic ideals for your child; respect and develop his talent

*I* nspire your child by your own example and through heart-to-heart talks

*J* udge a situation only after listening to both sides of the story

*K* now where your child is after school and on weekends

*L* earn with your child through your selective reading and personal study

*M* anage your home schedule – chores, television, etc. – for your child. Don't let these activities do the managing

*N* otice changes in your child's attitudes, emotions, interests, appearance

*O* pen new doors of experience for your child by encouraging lessons in art, music, athletics, foreign language, typing, domestic and mechanical arts

*P* ray with your child. The family that prays together, stays together.

*Q* uiz your child before tests or other competitive events

*R* efrain from open criticism of any type of authority in the presence of your child

*S* eek for yourself the kingdom of God, and your child will follow you

*T* each your child the art of self-control, the beauty of inner virtues, the honor of patriotic service, and the social graces of refined people

*U* se all the available opportunities your city and nation offer to develop and perfect the talents of your child

*V* enerate your religion: the sacred liturgy, the sacraments, the things of God. Your child is "another you": he will do the same

*W* elcome suggestions, both laudatory and critical, with an open mind

*X* Examine your child's work with interest, encouragement, and recommendations

*Y* ield to your child's requests for exceptions or favors only when the best interests of your child will be served.

*Z* ip into this privileged task of rearing your child in the image of God with hope, zeal, confidence, and with gratitude in the One whose creative power you share.

Posted this to serve as self reminder. Got this from NaW egroup and was also posted at Kitts' blog :)

19 Things To Say To Your Children

I got this from my inbox a few months ago. I was browsing my archive and saw this and feel like posting it here...

1. I love you! There is nothing that will make me stop loving you. Nothing you could do or say or think will ever change that.
2. You are amazing! I look at you with wonder! Not just at what you can do, but who you are. There is no one like you. No one!
3. It's all right to cry. People cry for all kinds of reasons: when they are hurt, sad, glad, or worried; when they are angry, afraid, or lonely. Big people cry too. I do.
4. You've made a mistake. That was wrong. People make mistakes. I do. Is it something we can fix? What can we do? It's all over. You can start fresh. I know you are sorry. I forgive you.
5. You did the right thing. That was scary or hard. Even though it wasn't easy, you did it. I am proud of you; you should be too.
6. I'm sorry. Forgive me. I made a mistake.
7. You can change your mind. It's good to decide, but it is also fine to change.
8. What a great idea! You were really thinking! How did you come up with that? Tell me more. Your mind is clever!
9. That was kind. You did something helpful and thoughtful for that person. That must make you feel good inside. Thank you!
10. I have a surprise for you. It's not your birthday. It's for no reason at all. Just a surprise, a little one, but a surprise.
11. I can wait. We have time. You don't have to hurry this time.
12. What would you like to do? It's your turn to pick. You have great ideas. It's important to follow your special interests.
13. Tell me about it. I'd like to hear more. And then what happened? I'll listen.
14. I'm right here. I won't leave without saying good-bye. I am watching you. I am listening to you.
15. Please and Thank You. These are important words. If I forget to use them, will you remind me?
16. I missed you. I think about you when we are not together!
17. Just try. A little bit. One taste, one step. You might like it. Let's see. I'll help you if you need it. I think you can do it.
18. I'll help you. I heard you call me, here I am. How can I help you? If we both work together, we can get this done. I know you can do it by yourself, but I'm glad to help since you asked.
19. What do you wish for? Even if it's not yet time for birthday candles and we don't have a wishbone, it's still fun to hear about what you wish for, hope for, and dream about

Good little habits

Jaden has developed a new routine...and it was good ha, kasi now she knows proper hygiene :D....

It started a few days ago...She woke up that morning and then I saw that her diaper was already full so I removed it. Then I was reminded of Nice's idea so I thought, why not try if my daughter can do it also. So, I gave my daughter the soiled diaper (supporting her hands to hold it) and guided her to the trash bin and told her to drop it inside. After she's done it, she smiled at me. I gave her a hug and told her "very good!" Eventually, parang she remembers it every day na. She'll do it joyfully every morning, pero she'll do it herself na...(though I still walk with her to the trash bin). Naging routine na niya talaga. :D

It's not really hard to teach children build good habits at this age kaya it's good if you can teach them as early as now. As for me, I just hope that my daughter will remain teachable. That's what I'm really praying...that I will be able to raised her with good character...starting with good little habits.

Long vacation

Nakaka-bore din pala ang long vacation specially if you don't have anywhere to go but stay at home...though of course I get to bond with my kulit...but when she's super duper cranky na, I ask her yaya to keep her busy and don't make kulit muna with me, hehehe! I can just imagine those SAHMs. Sobrang haba siguro talaga ng patience nila sa makukulit na chikiting. I admire them. Though I'm also thinking din of being a SAHM sometimes. Kasi mahirap talaga i-entrust everything to the yaya.

What's good lang sa working mom for now, I enjoy the separation anxiety stage. I've read an article na you just have to enjoy this moment na you're child is really clingy kasi there will come a time na mawawalan na rin sila ng paki pag umaalis ka...as in deadma. So i-enjoy lang ang moment na humahabol sila, but don't make it hard on you and on them as well. There are a lot of articles on the web that talks about coping up and enjoying this stage. And that's what I'm doing, I always tell her na mom's going back din everyday when I leave her for work. Sarap ng feeling when she waves good bye and throw me a kiss.

Anyways, wala lang siguro ako magawa for now so I'm writing this down while watching TV. My kulit is already asleep...It will be another long day tomorrow with her :D