How To Raise Good Citizens

I got this email from a friend and thought of sharing it here.

We all want our children to be good, compassionate, helpful people. That's not always what we get — and sometimes it's our fault. Truth is, good character and a strong work ethic are learned at home. Here's how to help set the scene.

Little pitchers have big ears. A strange expression, to be sure … but true when it comes to how children pick up ideas and behaviors from the adults around them. To raise respectful children, we have to walk the walk and talk the talk by respecting those around us. Basic manners are a good way to start teaching respect; hearing "please" and "thank you" and learning to give somebody personal space — that all sinks in. So does emphasizing the power of gratitude. If a child learns to be thankful for even the simplest things — a sunny day, a special outing, a lick in the face from a new puppy — he or she will be more equipped to appreciate all of life's little pleasures — and any people who make them happen.

When children are overindulged, they may believe that they are somehow better than everyone else or that good behavior isn't necessary. And while it's important that we encourage our kids, hearing the word "no" every now and then helps them learn to postpone gratification, tolerate frustration and set long-term goals — all necessary attributes of good citizenship. Introducing children to the idea of giving back through charity work, the Scouts or church will help foil the spoiling monster.

Working hard has its rewards, and children need to learn them. We're not talking allowance here but the bigger picture of what it means to contribute to the household and society, to create something good, to help others, to be an important part of making something work. Daily chores — feeding the pet, watering plants or emptying the dishwasher — help even little kids feel needed and teach the value of pitching in. Children learn the most from work that's nonnegotiable. Make a list, divvy it up, expect the best. Children who aren't expected to contribute to the family don't learn that it's better to give than to receive — in any arena.

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